:: FAQ About Leaving TCBC, 1: "What Can We Do?"

First, I continue to apologize for the font abnormalities... I have no idea what's going on or how to fix it. Anyway...

[As we’re “being let go” from our church family, we’ve been asked lots of questions. I’m going to answer some over the next couple days, to give some perspective and to give you wonderful, honoring “askers” answers. These questions are more focused on how Jess and I are doing, etc., plus some facts of the past few months. I will NOT be writing anything against Trinity Chapel, the elders, etc. – we love the church way too much for that. If you have further questions, please post below; BUT if they’re potentially divisive, etc., please email me personally rather than use a public forum to do anything negative to the peace and unity at Trinity Chapel, part of the body of Christ. Thank you for your respect in that way.]

#1: WHAT CAN WE DO?

I’ll come back to this question as it relates specifically to Jess and me later, but for today, we’ll stay on the macro level – what can we be doing in general? Here are some thoughts; please holler if unclear/questions:

• Pray. For us, for our hearts, for Trinity Chapel, and especially for our staff and elders. There is grief. I don’t know how else to say it: there is hurt, sadness, and just overwhelming grief on all these parties. Pray for strength, peace, truth, and unity as the church and leadership move forward. Pray for strength, peace, and understanding as Jess and I come to terms with this. Please, with all your heart, pray.

• Respond biblically. There is much confusion, hurt, anger, and all kinds of other emotion. That has come across to me in email, facebook, in conversations, and in many who came to the meetings/Q&A, etc. Please take this to heart: “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Eph 4:26-27). For the sake of the body, we have begged our leaders, students, and friends, to please respond in one of these ways; they’re all viable; they’re written in order of biblical/personal preference; and they’re the only biblical ways:
  
  

o Submit to the elders – willingly accept the decision of the leadership and trust that it is the right decision; honor them as your appointed church leadership and submit to them. In the midst of all this, I believe strongly in the plurality of elders as the biblical leaders of the local church. Don’t follow blindly, but as these men are your elders, the most preferable step is to submit.

o Ask questions – if you can’t accept the decision, or have concerns, etc., the elders have expressed their desire to be honest and open, and to answer questions brought by the body. Please ask them. And please press until you have your questions thoroughly answered (“speak the truth” above). I’ll be happy to answer questions as well, as much as I can in an honoring way to the remaining leadership and for the sake of the church we love, but please go to your elders and press them, not for anger and vindication (“be angry and do not sin”), but for truth and answers – so that you can then willingly submit to them with a pure heart.

o Leave in humility – ONLY if you’ve tried to submit; only if you’re not satisfied with the answers; only if you’re unable to accept the decision of the leadership, you’re remaining biblical option is to leave the leadership and this branch of the local church. But if you’re choosing to leave, please consider two things: first, walk through the first two steps first – do not leave without first seeking answers; do not leave without prayerfully trying to submit. Second, please do not leave loudly, dividing the remaining body – those who’ve had they’re questions answered satisfactorily and who can submit. Inform the elders of your decision, and leave in quiet humility.

• Do not respond unbiblically. It’s easy to blast people; to assume things in the silence and non-answers; to write and say mean or angry things out of emotion. Trust me, I know how this feels! As much as we encourage you to press hard for answers and respond biblically, we beg you not to respond unbiblically. Please do not ask, say, or write things angrily or bitterly in a public forum (this includes facebook and blogs, etc.); please do not gossip or spread rumors; please do not rally people around “one side or the other.” I hate that language, but in some levels, that’s what this has devolved into. Read 1 Cor 1:10-16, and please pursue unity, not “sides.” And if you can’t submit to the leadership; if you don’t get the answers you need to stay with a pure heart, please do not remain at Trinity Chapel, giving your seed of bitterness and dissension a place to grow.

I know this is very objective; almost impersonal. It’s hard to write; there’s a lot of me that has a hard time following my own advice through the emotion we’re feeling. But as we told our students Sunday (podcast here), this ministry and our lives are not built on me, Ted, the elders, etc – our foundation is Christ, and thus this can’t be about “who’s right,” “who’s side you’re on,” etc. – it MUST be about the unity of the body of Christ, and responding to this situation in a biblical manner.

TOMORROW: “How are you guys doing?”