**Sin vs. Temptation**

Still reading a little John Owen, on sin and temptation... Here are some concepts I've learned - or re-learned, as the case may be:

Sin is internal; temptation comes from the outside - my propensity and desires and depravity are constantly there, always inside, eating away and waiting for an opportunity to become a reality. Temptation is that which ignites the sin that's already there... it's the thoughts, the outside occurrences, the things I see, hear, and experience daily, which "encourage" that sin to become a reality.

I cannot pray for sin to be gone; I can pray against temptations - it is impossible, in this life, to be 100% rid of the sin that indwells me - we will never be rid of the sin that indwells each of us. But we can pray, as Jesus instructed, "lead us not into temptation." God willing, those things which could would otherwise cause our sin to rear its ugly head might become lessened as we learn to avoid those things which tempt it - which tempt us. Owen's concept [paraphrased]: we cannot truly hate sin if we love temptation.

Bottom line: I need to recognize that sin will always remain in me; that it's always there; that I will never be rid of it. As I battle sin, I must also battle the temptation that causes it to be inflamed; I must protect myself from the images, thoughts, words, and works of evil and the world which cause my inner, ever-present, human sin nature to shine its darkness.

Because if I don't, I constantly fight an un-winnable battle.
And I fight it on the wrong front.
And I lose.

** Fallen blogger? **

So is a week + a day too long to go w/o posting? Am I officially cut off from the blog world now? How does this whole thing work? :)

I realized that an "everyday post" was a lot like self-induced legalism, but apparently I've gone oh-so-far the other way now and am making up for all those lost "days off" incurred by writing every day.

What if I don't have anything to say?

Oh well, over the last few hours, some thoughts have been rolling around as old college mix CD blasts, accompanying my chore-filled evening - so get excited (all 2 of you lovely readers), in a few days there will probably be something about responsibility and routine... and how those things have made me feel old this evening. I know, exciting topic, eh?

But happy Memorializing 'til then...

** Soundtrack **

I'm a huge music fan - always have been; always will be. It's been a big part of my life since kindergarten piano lessons, which spawned a hobby which continued through high school, being supplemented along the way with guitar, singing, trumpet, arranging, directing, and writing music. Yup, music was a huge part of my life. At present, it's devolved a bit to mostly just listening, but even that has a huge impact on me.

So here's my wonder: do you ever notice what music is playing and think about how it effects/impacts whatever situation you're in at the moment? Kinda like in the movies, but more subtle, and in real life?

Like if you're having a Mexican fiesta with good friends (like Jess & I did last night), how much better it can be with a few mariachi tunes playing off the laptop?

Or if you're having a deep, meaningful conversation, and at just the right moment - you know, the most intense one, a happy, jumpy pop song starts playing on the restaurant speakers, completely breaking the mood and bringing ironic smiles to your faces?

Or if you're driving a van-full of college students through an icy pass in Colorado in January, kind of scared for your life, and then Dave Matthews starts singing "eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die" through the radio, and you ask someone to please change it?

Or how you can have an intense, very real and God-focused worship experience at a completely non-Christian event, like a live concert, just because of the environment, the experience, and the great music that can absorb you? (for me this was also Dave Matthews, standing in the rain in The Woodlands with two great friends in about 2002)

Or how pensive, reflective music like Lanterna or Explosions in the Sky can help create a tone for thinking, praying, writing, reflecting (or blogging right now!)?

I think for most of my life, there's a soundtrack playing - if not real, then at least in my mind. Sometimes it intensifies a situation; sometimes it proves that moment ironic; sometimes it helps me see the bigger picture; sometimes it's just a nice addition. And I just hope I can always be aware enough to realize it...

:: Create your own soundtrack: pandora.com - thanks David! ::

May 16: "Sin No More"?!?! (John 8)

Wouldn’t that be a nice concept?

I mean, Jesus, after doodling on the ground (I really really wonder what he wrote), after sending everyone away, after forgiving a woman caught “in the act” of adultery, says “from now on sin no more.”

Geez.

And I love the imagery of John – the “darkness” that sin is; the tearing of relationship it causes; the removal from goodness that follows it; the blindness and inability surrounding it. And the “light” that is Christ and truth and redemption, piercing through the darkness of the world and my life. But even on my best days when I’m pursuing life in that “light,” I can’t say that I’ve “sinned no more.”

I’ve been reading John Owen this month; the dude is brilliant, perceptive, and gets sin like no other I’ve ever read. I highly recommend Taylor & Kapic’s compellation of Owen’s works, Overcoming Sin and Temptation (Crossway, 2007). Here are some of Owen’s “light scribbles” on the subject of sin – warning: they’re mull-worthy.

On our inability to stop sin by our own power: “Mortification [of sin] from a self-strength, carried on by ways of self-invention, unto the end of self-righteousness, is the soul and substance of all false religion in the world” (p.47).

“[Sin] gets strength by temptation. When a suitable temptation falls in line with a lust, it gives it new life, vigor, power, violence, and rage, which it seemed not before to have of be capable of” (p.74).

“Take heed, this is that [which] your lust is working toward – the hardening of the heart, searing of the conscience, blinding of the mind, stupefying of the affections, and deceiving the whole soul” (p.99).

“We speak much of God, can talk of him, his ways, his works, his counsels, all the day long; the truth is, we know very little of him. Our thoughts, our meditations, our expressions of him are low, many of them unworthy of his glory, none of them reaching his perfections” (p.111).

“Grace and corruption lie deep in the hearth; men oftentimes deceive themselves in the search after the one or the other of them. When we give vent to the would, to try what grace is there, corruption comes out; and when we search for corruption, grace appears. So the would is kept in uncertainty; we fail in our trials” (p.153).

What does it mean to “sin no more”? According to Owen – who builds a pretty solid case indeed! – it’s fighting daily; it’s not praying that I won’t be tempted (because I always will be), but rather pursuing God; realizing the work of the Spirit; actively fighting to “mortify” (his word, which I really like: “to be killing”) sin in my lives, every minute of every day. Because if I don’t, Owen’s claim is that sin will be mortifying me: “Be killing sin, or sin will be killing you” (p.50) is Owen’s premise.

And in doing so, I fall on my face, thanking Christ for sending others away, for forgiving my ongoing, indwelling sin, and for enabling this battle to happen, through God’s grace and Spirit in my live, and through the cross, my only hope that one day, we will sin no more!

“Let faith look on Christ in the gospel as he is set forth dying and crucified for us. Look on him under the weight of our sins, praying, bleeding, dying; bring him in that condition into your heart by faith; apply his blood so shed for your corruptions. Do this daily” (p.138).

** Loneliness vs. Being Alone **

So I had a conversation with a good friend earlier today about "loneliness" vs. "being alone," and haven't been able to stop thinking about it since we talked - I don't know that I've ever thought about it as much as I have today, nor really figured out what my "view" of it is. So if it's cool, I'd like to share my musings de jour, and I'd love any thoughts on this, & to get "response musings" as well, because to be honest, someone out there probably has a better-developed theology on this subject than I do!

So here goes: I'm wondering if "loneliness" is an inherently negative thing, while "being alone" can be inherently good.

I wonder if loneliness is an emotional/actual result of the fall, an indication of our broken relationship with God, and an unbalance in our relationship with others... The only times I find "lonely" in Scripture are laments - a state from which the author is seeking restoration/reprieve (Psalms & Lamentations).

"Being alone" on the other hand - reflecting, resting, introspection, personal worship, etc. - seems to be a good, healthy thing, and is promoted/observed throughout scripture. Jesus spent time alone; kings spent time alone; etc. But it seems that in the "aloneness," they were dwelling with God - so they definitely couldn't be lonely, right?

I'm not sure that I can see that "being lonely" carries the same goodness and health as "being alone." Since we're created for relationship (God & others), and since we know that there's the real presence of God (Spirit) in each of us, and since we're never without that assurance, then should we ever really be "lonely"?

I know everyone feels lonely at times - and that "loneliness" generally carries a negative slant, and I wonder if that's because we feel the separation from God and others; if we don't "get" the every-second relationship that each of us has with God... I wonder if it is a negative thing, like an out-of-proportion version of something that's good (being alone), in the same way that drunkenness is an out-of-proportion abuse of the goodness of a Killian's Irish Red, or in the same way that lust is an out-of-proportion version of the goodness of intimate love.

So there are the thoughts - can "loneliness" be a good thing? Is it a result of sin and separation? Is "being alone" a different concept? I don't think I've ever specifically asked for comments before, but I'd really love to know your thoughts!

Thanks!

May 5: Stooping (John 4:4-42)

She was a pagan. She was a woman. She was of an “inferior race.” She was confused. She was living in sin… And she was in need.

He was God. He was man. He was weary. He knew the truth. He had her answer… And He met her, just as she was.

They were shocked. They were self-righteous. They missed the point. They were confused. They were following the Law… And they would have passed her by.

It’s so hard to accept people right where they are. Especially if they’re different from me; especially if they have issues that are hard for me to understand; especially if I feel like I’ve tried time and time again to break through, to build relationship, to speak truth, to help. I find myself weary; I find myself beaten down from trying. And yet, so did Jesus.

And finding a connection; figuring out something that made sense to her – on her level; on her terms, He loved her. He taught her. He corrected, exhorted, and redeemed her. And it “clicked” for her. Because he met here, just as she was. It didn’t matter that she was different; that she was trading her body for rent; that she was a Samaritan; that she didn’t “get” what Jesus was saying at first. He walked with her, speaking in her terms, stooping down to talk her step by step, question by question, misunderstanding by misunderstanding, through water, to eternity, to revelation, to worship, to the Savior!

He didn’t abandon her; He didn’t meet her on “his terms” – which is good… being God and all, it would be pretty hard to “get it” if we had to understand God’s terms! He knew her needs; her life; her issues; her level. And he humbled himself, putting aside all He was, ignoring His weariness, stooping to her level to meet her there.

I don’t do that well. I wonder how many times I could stop and consider their needs; their life; their issues; their level… but instead choose not to. Instead try to relate out of my … all that stuff. And then, do I miss whatever harvest was laid in front of me? I’ve got to think the answer is “yes.”

She’s off her rocker. He’s insecure. They’ve given up and won’t listen to reason. He’s angry and irritable. She can’t stand to be wrong… He’s everyman. She’s everywoman.

I’m self-centered. I’m busy. I’m logical and cut-and-dry. I often don’t even pause to notice. I like things on my terms… And yet, I’m called to respond...

(...and happy Cinco de Mayo!)

May 3: Not "Doing" (John 3:1-21)

I’ve actually heard some really interesting stuff about these verses over the past couple week – words that I know I miss just as often as did the original recipient! Words that are simple – so simple that it makes total sense, and that it’s a truth I’ve heard a hundred times, but for some reason, hearing it the way John writes it made it much clearer to me.

The entire theme of John’s 3^rd chapter is that I must be born again. That I must believe. That in believing in God the Son for salvation is life. And that’s all that needs to be done. That’s the part that it seems I’ve heard a million times, and yet fail to realize.

What’s so cool about these verses? The man, Nicodemus, who comes to Jesus, apparently believing that Jesus is who Jesus says Jesus is, and asking about salvation. Nicodemus was a Pharisee. That meant he knew the Old Testament Law; the Ten Commandments of Moses and Charleton Heston; and all 613 commandments in the Hebrew scriptures. Not only did he know them; he belonged to a sect who knew them better than anyone at the time. And in knowing them that well, they most likely followed them better than anyone at the time too!

So Nicodemus had the “do’s” and “do not’s” down; he knew what actions were allowed and which were banned; he was on top of the game when it came to doing right and avoiding what was wrong.

But Nicodemus was learning the lesson that has been brought to my own mind plenty this week: Christianity is not about “doing” or “not doing.” It’s not about actions; it’s not about right vs. wrong. Rather than some attainable pursuit – either before or after my salvation – Christianity is about knowing. It’s about believing. In a word, it’s about “being.”

Jesus made this clear over and over again as I read today’s passage: “unless one is born again…”; “what is born of the Spirit is spirit…”; “you must be born again.” These are all states of being! They’re not actions; there’s nothing I can DO in any of them. Nicodemus even saw Jesus’ words through the lens of “doing,” asking if someone could climb (= action. And a bad mental picture at that!) back into the womb and live (= action) a second time! But Jesus continued to remind him… and me… that there’s nothing I can do. No, Nicodemus and I just need to “be.”

And when I learn to just “be,” I can grow in wonder and awe, that the Son of Man came to reveal God to me. That God Himself was lifted high that I might be saved. That God so loved the world that He humbled Himself and became a man, to reveal God to us on a very human level. And I can grow in awe and wonder that “through him” (v.17), I am able to “believe in him.”

How was God first revealed to me? How did my relationship with Christ begin? How do I grow in my faith? How do I understand light over darkness? I only understand it clearly when I stop “doing”; when I let the dust settle; when I pause long enough to understand truth. And as light shines clearly on the answer, I realize that all I need to do is to just “be.” Because in all these, God was the one who did. I just “was.” My “works have been carried out in God.”

Thank you, Matt Chandler, for your wisdom and insight into these verses.

And thank You, God my King, for doing all these things in me. Teach me to just “be,” in the midst of my “busy-doing” life. In Your Son’s name, who came to reveal Light to this dark world… Amen.

May 1: Lamb of God (John 1:29-51)

Old Testament.

High Priest.

One day.

National purification.

Preparation.

Temple.

Holy of Holies.

Most sacred of spaces.

Meeting with God.

Wonder.

Priest.

Enter sacred space.

Bells tied to ankles.

Just in case.

Representative.

Two goats.

One slaughtered.

Sacrifice required.

Wrath appeased.

Propitiation.

One sent.

Wilderness.

Sins removed.

Israel cleansed.

Atonement.

New Testament.

Spirit descends.

John announces.

Baptism.

Preparation.

Prophesy fulfilled.

Disciples follow.

“Come and see.”

“Greater things.”

Wonder.

Jesus.

Son of God.

Lamb of God.

Propitiation.

Atonement.

April 30: God Came Near (John 1:1-28)

(A reading from Christmas Eve, 12/24/2006, that I wrote in response to today's weighty verses as we begin John's Gospel):

Christmas eve. A night of rejoicing. A night of celebrating. A night where the body of Christ across the world exalts together the fact that indeed, God is near. Because more than it is about presents, and more than it is about family & friends, & even more than it is about a baby born in a manger, Christmas is a story about redemption. It’s a story about grace. It’s a story about God coming near to us, so that by His power, we can come near to God. That’s the beauty of Christmas.

See, God & mankind had been near to each other before. Centuries before this first Christmas, in a place called Eden, God & man dwelt together in perfect relationship. Humans interacted with God; we realized His full glory; we understood true fullness of life, exactly as God intended it. But then one day, all that changed – sin was ushered into the world, & God & man were drawn apart from each other. No longer could we dwell together in this perfect relationship. Man’s image – the very “image of God” in which we were created – was marred. It was muddied. It became imperfect.

And with that imperfection, death came into the world. Selfishness made itself known in the hearts of mankind. Every pain & struggle we experience; every act of disobedience against God; every single thing that goes wrong, is an outflow of this sin.

You see that throughout the Old Testament: a man kills his brother; the world gets so evil that God destroys it with a flood; Abraham gets impatient waiting for God, & has a son outside of God’s plan for him; families deceive each other; Joseph’s brothers get so jealous of him that they sell him into slavery in Egypt. But through it all, God intervenes, drawing His people near to Him: God sustains His chosen line; He gives Abraham His promised son; He even saves Joseph’s family through the fact that he was in Egypt!

And so history goes: God’s people are in slavery in Egypt, but God miraculously delivers them through the Red Sea. God’s people are wandering in the desert, but God provides daily food & protection. God’s people are attacked by neighboring nations, but God gives them victory & leads them to a land He had promised. They get restless and demanding, so He gives them first His Law, then His judges, & finally gives them kings, to reign, direct, & rule in His place. And throughout all this, you see sin moving people away from God, and God coming near to draw them back. You see people entering darkness, but God bringing them back into the light. Over & over & over.

And the days of these kings are glorious: Jerusalem is established as a beautiful capitol; an amazing temple is built for the worship of God; under David & Solomon, Israel experiences its glory days, & the presence of God reigns again. But then new kings come, & their sin brings God’s wrath again, & Israel finds itself feeling far from God: the nation splits in two; a whole line of kings alternate between evil & good; between darkness & light, & during the times of darkness, God sends prophets – men to speak His words; to bring His people near to Him once again; to bring His light into their darkness.

But finally, God expresses His wrath. He judges Israel for their sin, by the power of other nations. Assyria & Babylon attack & take Israel by force; the glorious temple in Jerusalem is destroyed; and God’s people are put into exile – they’re spread out across the known world, & for the first time in their history, God…is…silent. And they are far from Him. And their darkness is thick, overwhelming, & deep.

And after 400 years of this darkness, this despair, Israel is under Roman rule. There’s been talk of a Messiah – someone to bring light back to Israel; to redeem God’s people; to draw them near to God again. And the people are yearning for it; they are begging; if we had their words, they would be cries to God, like “O Come, O Come Emanuel, & ransom captive Israel."

Then one day, Caesar issues a decree to count all the people. So one man takes his very pregnant new wife to Bethlehem. And then, in this time of Israel’s deepest darkness & despair, in one of the bloodiest points in all of history, in a manger because there is no room for them in the inn, Christ is born. God is near. And so, we have hope. We have grace. We have joy. We can be redeemed!

“In him was life, & the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, & the darkness has not overcome it… The Word became flesh & dwelt among us, & we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. And from his fullness, we have received grace upon grace.” That’s the story of Christmas: that is why we rejoice; that is what we celebrate! At Christmas, God came near to us, so that we can come near to God.